I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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