Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
