What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
