was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
