Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
