we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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