i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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