booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
