last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
