They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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