This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
