im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize