Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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