You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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