I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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