Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
