i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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