Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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