soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize