he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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