Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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