Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
