I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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