the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
