all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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