he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize