Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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