Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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