Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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