i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
