I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
