I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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