Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize