tonight lets celebrate not being married
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize