Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize