Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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