We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
