Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
