Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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