we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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