my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
