He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
