I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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