everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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