woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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