**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize