If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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