you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
