You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize