at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize