butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
