i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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