I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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