I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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