Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
