i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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