Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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