i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
