Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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