lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
